The Soul of an Academic

Here is a profound quote from The Sisters by Vikenty V. Veresaev, that I think gets to the core of an idealistic academic:

We were going to work together, but somehow neither of us were inclined to. We decided to have a drink. Nurka brought a bottle of port wine. We drank it, and lay down on the bed. I began to "preach" to her. I said there is no such thing as love. There are only sexual needs. She looked at me sadly with her innocent blue eyes; it hurt her to listen to me. She dreams of a "pure" love. I laughed at her and said: "Rubbish! Can a Komsomolka be such an idealist?"

I suddenly remembered and struck my forehead:

"The synopsis! I'd forgotten all about it!"

I sat down at the table and wrote out the synopsis for the lecture.

The next evening came. ... My speech poured out, vivid and unhesitating. I laid down the economic basis, passed to materialism, and so on and so on. ... The young folk were impressed; they're thirsting to be shown the path to the new life. And this is what I longed to say in the concluding words: "Listen all of you! I haven't been speaking seriously, I was making fun of you, I wrote out the synopsis of my speech when I was drunk. It was very easy because there was nothing of mine in it. I have only repeated what others have written before. I have no ideas of my own any more than you have. Tear up your notes and lets begin from the beginning; lets find the way to the new life with our own brains."

I wanted to go home alone, but I had to go with some of the others, and we argued on the way. I got heated trying to prove something, and when I reached home my heart was very heavy and I even cried into my pillow when everyone else in the room was asleep. It appears that, in order to be a charlatan, you must have a great sadness in your soul.

That about sums everything about academia up that I know.